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I still don’t know whether I’m amused or disgusted by these three new commercials for Mohegan Sun. The singing and dancing is a nice touch, but they’re desecrating Toto, Rick James, and The Knack. And who thought to use Toto? And who actually knew that song was Toto? And who knew that Toto’s bass player has a massively long beard? These questions and more will be answered in my new book, Questions About 80s Pop Bands, Casino Ads, and Other Things You Never Thought To Ask Nor Really Need To Know The Answers To (Is This Title Gramatically Incorrect By Ending In A Preposition? Sort Of.), in stores next year.

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What I Learned From This Comic in Today’s World Journal (Placed Right in My Face on the B Train this morning): Chinese people think American public schools are violent places. Also, there is no Chinese word for “meathead.”

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In the mailbag this week:

no no nanette is having a revival this week with rosie odonnell.  you may remember the original as being financed by the sale of an ok baseball player from the sox to the yankees - babe something or other.  - J$

I’m glad that my readers bring things like this to my attention, but Red Sox fans don’t believe in curses anymore. Now let me go back to watching the game while wearing my six year-old Red Sox cap and faded Jason Varitek t-shirt.

I thought you’d enjoy this if you haven’t already seen it. In today’s AM NY on p. 13 there’s a great sentence about Jennifer Hudson:

“Jennifer Hudson might be busy becoming a bonified movie star, but she still has time to pick ‘American Idol’ favorites.”

Wow. Makes “bona fide” look like a verb. To bonify? My old Latin prof would flip. - StuyGirl

Who needs me to write amNY Watch? My readers do it for me.

Subject: Guess who walked by me today

Body:

- Mike

Congratulations, Mike, for taking one of the least discreet camera phone pictures of a famous person… ever.

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Music Video of the Week: I blame Mohegan Sun for this. Thanks, fuckers. Now I’ve got Toto stuck in my head. Crank it up!

Have a great weekend, folks. This is your weekly reminder that Triviotic is Monday at 8pm. Plan your Monday accordingly, and RSVP by Monday to get a sneak preview of one of this week’s questions.

Clockwise from lower left: Beaverlick, a place you’ll hit if you keep going down Beaver Road from where it hooks up with Big Bone; Big Bone Lick State Park, where “going down the road” could take on a whole meaning; Sugartit, the birthplace of sexual harassment by creepy old men; and Petersburg, which wouldn’t sound dirty under any other circumstances, but given that it’s right up the river from Big Bone Lick, I have to wonder.

  seat’s not great

  but it’s free [I frantically search Pollstar and Santana’s web site, wondering why I don’t know about a Santana concert happening on a Saturday afternoon in or around New York City. I am baffled.] 

5:12 PM me: where at?

 Ben: upper tier i believe

  row q to sell it even more

  the far reaches of shea. [Shea?! Santana is PLAYING AT SHEA?! Oh my god. This is a momentous occasion! Can you imagine what kind of special guests he’s going to bring out! He’s going to pull out the stops for this one! Why didn’t I hear about this sooner? Why can’t I find out any details about this?! Oh. Wait. The Mets are in town this weekend. Johan Santana is scheduled to start for them on Saturday afternoon.] 

5:13 PM me: ah

  sure

  i always enjoy a trip to shea

1. Hillary Clinton Supporters and New York Mets Fans

With every glimmer of hope they see, Hillary supporters and Mets fans think it’s the sign of victory, only to be let down every single time. Even when they win big, like winning a string of primaries or being up 9 games in mid-September, they’re still not the favorite. Then again, when the team you’re cheering on gets in a desperate situation, you can always start crying. Go ahead, just let it out. You might as well now, or once the fall rolls around, you’re just going to be disappointed.

2. Ron Paul Supporters and 9/11 Conspiracy Theorists

They’re not exactly experts about these things, but based on the evidence they’ve seen (several web sites and some flyers hanging up around town), they believe what they’re hearing. In the face of the facts like science, reason, and primary results, they stick to their guns and show up in small numbers to hold up signs and not provide much substance. In some cases, they’re not two similar groups - they’re the same group. They have passion, drive, and the inability to go away despite being completely ignored.

3. Barack Obama Supporters and New York Yankees Fans

Do you blindly love someone despite all of their misdeeds? Do you claim past victories as a justification for the supremacy of your weakened, injured team? Do you think your guys can do no wrong? Is there an evil empire you must defeat in order to claim victory? You must be an Obama supporter… or a New York Yankees fan! So what if your star third baseman and pitcher are injured? So what if you said that people in rural areas cling to guns and religion because they’re bitter? Your team is still the best! The media don’t know what they’re talking about. Yes we can! Yes we can!

4. John McCain Supporters and Tourists Who Stop in the Middle of the Goddamn Sidewalk

“Well, wow, this sure is interesting! I’m just going to go at my own pace and take a few breaks to enjoy the view. That Broadway show was sort of old and tired. It was kind of stiff and middle-of-the-road. You know what? I could’ve settled for a trip to Mount Rushmore or Branson, Missouri instead. Those places are much more majestic and much cleaner than this city. My word, these New Yorkers sure are resiliant people! They experienced a tragedy… like a terrorist attack or being held captive for years in a prison camp… and they still go about their daily lives! Speaking of that, that John McCain guy seems like a nice enough fellow. Sure is better than those latte liberals! Enough about politics, though… time for Olive Garden’s Never-Ending Pasta Bowl!”

(It’s in Kentucky.)

Despite the fact that I know this to be true, I have no means to prove it, other than to say, “it is because I said so.” No advertising revenue for me. 

So, unfortunately, since they can’t advertise on my blog, I’ll just simply make an endorsement of the product. They can’t stop me from doing that.

So drink Amstel Light! It’s delicious! It’s refreshing! It’s the beer drinker’s light beer…

… for those beer drinkers who enjoy drinking European pisswater.

Drink American!

Personally, I prefer my sandwiches without bread. But what do I know? I’m not a country star.

Last night was another great night of Triviotic at Arrow Bar. It also happened to be Cinco De Mayo, so yours truly wore a sombrero to deliver the questions. I’m sure there are photos of my ridiculous hat circulating.

The winning team got that hat, and a bar tab. Congratulations to the winners of last night’s Triviotic and the Most Inappropriate Team Name of All-Time Contest… In That Hat, Chris Should Build Me a Deck. They narrowed out In Kwotes, The New Class by 3 points. Also in the running: Fuck You, We Don’t Need a Witty Name, Glacial Pace, and My Pet Hamster Needs Valtrex.

Thanks to everyone who came out last night. Be sure to come out next week for another exciting edition of Triviotic! (RSVP by Monday on Facebook and you’ll get a preview of one of the questions.) Now, the questions and answers (after the jump)…

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But how can Plan B, a restaurant in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn that’s been open just over a week, claim on their menu that their burger is “famous?”

Of course, by blogging about this, am I feeding into the frenzy? Probably.

For the record, the burger was all right - I think other cheeses (cheddar, blue, gruyere) would work better stuffed inside a burger. The burger was definitely overshadowed by the fries that accompanied it. Their parmesean garlic fries use real shredded parmesean cheese and freshly chopped garlic. They stink up the place - not to mention your breath - but they are quite possibly the most delicious french fries I’ve ever tasted.

Their fries should be famous, not their burger. But let’s get real: neither can be famous after a week.