east village idiot

Unlike most twentysomethings, I still listen to the radio. AM radio, in fact. I wake up to WCBS 880 every morning to squeeze a bit of news, weather, and sports into my day before I trudge off to work.

But one thing about WCBS has always driven me up the wall. In fact, its only saving grace is that it gets me out of bed to turn off the radio. That one thing is Joe Connolly’s business news segments at :25 and :55 past the hour.

Of the five stories in his 7:55 report this morning, three of them started with the word “some” or “one.” As in, “some schools…” or “one business owner” but with no further specification of which schools or business, which would actually add some legitimacy to the story. Every morning, I jump out of bed because I want to reach through the radio and wring his neck and scream, “GOD DAMN YOU, GIVE ME SPECIFICS!”

Listen to this “Small Business Report” he did yesterday. Spending 45 seconds on one whole topic, he still manages to use the terms “some business owners,” “one business owner,” “this business,” and “one social media consultant” without ever mentioning a name or citing a source.

Oh, also, this is more the style of story he does in a BUSINESS NEWS SEGMENT. He doesn’t discuss earnings reports or layoffs or executive hirings and firings, and he’ll generally leave discussion of the Dow, Nasdaq, or S&P futures to a 2-second blurb between a story about “funemployment” and how “some people” are putting their resumes on doilies. No, he’ll leave real business news to legitimate journalists.

They took away K-Rock and replaced it with this:

6:38am: Britney Spears - Circus
7:08am: Britney Spears - If U Seek Amy
7:30am: Britney Spears - Circus
7:56am: Britney Spears - Womanizer

I call that a rude awakening.

So long, K-Rock. 92.3 WXRK is flipping to Top 40 tomorrow as 92.3 Now FM, ending another brief run of rock radio on a station that was already a shadow of its former self. Maybe if K-Rock had readopted the alternative format it aired during the early part of the decade upon its return in 2007, rather than playing the same 15 classic rock songs over and over again, they wouldn’t have failed so miserably.

But instead, they’ll duplicate a different radio station in the market - powerhouse Z-100. Good luck with that. And while you’re at it, stop denying the past and tooting your own horn:

“For the first time in nearly 30 years, New York now has a choice for hit music,” said [VP/CHR Programming Dom] Theodore. “With 92.3 NOW FM we’re breaking the mold of the traditional radio station and creating a pure multi-media companion for today’s music fans.”

Unless “nearly” means “give or take a entire decade or so,” Theodore is adopting a revisionist history. WHTZ and WPLJ battled for more than eight years during the 1980s and early 1990s for Top 40 radio supremacy in New York. WPLJ threw in the towel in 1991 when they picked up Scott Shannon from Z-100 for their morning show and evolved into an adult-oriented format that promised “no rap and no hard stuff.”

That wasn’t nearly 30 years ago. And the difference this time is that when WHTZ and WPLJ both flipped to Top 40 in 1983, both stations were new to the format. Both stations stood a fighting chance.

This is another radio experiment on a frequency that hasn’t been able to maintain the same format for more than two years at a time. Thanks to advances in ratings technology that provide nearly instant results, this experiment won’t even last that long.

If you happened to catch the tease for News 4 New York at 11 last night, you were in for quite a shock.

Have you ever listened to those music channels in the 600s on Time Warner? I’m a sucker for some of these (especially the 90s channel), but the on-screen displays are getting a little ridiculous. Here’s one I caught when flipping through the channels:

Personally, I prefer my sandwiches without bread. But what do I know? I’m not a country star.

On CNN this afternoon, a reporter was live in Cincinnati, Ohio covering the snowstorm there. She shared this stunning anecdote:

Reporter: I was speaking to a woman at a hotel who was getting married today, and she said she never would have believed that on this day, her wedding day, March 8, 2008, it would snow in Cincinnati.

Really? She never would have believed that it would snow on her wedding day, which just happens to be DURING THE WINTER?

The anchor went on to chat with the reporter, and made this observation, which completely blew my mind:

Anchor: Who knew that it would snow this close to Easter?

Yes, who knew that when Easter falls on its earliest date since 1916, it would snow TWO WEEKS BEFORE EASTER… DURING THE WINTER.

Meanwhile, the forecast in the great state of Wyoming calls for clear, sunny skies and highs in the 40s. It’s a great day to get outdoors. But after basking in the sunshine, you should go back inside and read my blog.

Is it strange that the day after the most racist ad to air on a network other than BET is broadcast to a national audience, Facebook offers a Panda as a gift?

So, what was your favorite Super Bowl ad? People are saying that this year’s crop was weak. I say there were plenty of diamonds in the rough - like the Doritos mouse ad, the Coke balloons ad, the E*Trade ad with the clown, and - of course - the ad with Donkey Lips.

While the writers’ strike drags on, we’re stuck with absolutely awful programming like NBC’s Top 100 Guinness World Records, which painfully recounted such great records as the world’s fattest twins, the world’s largest hot dog, and the world’s largest gathering of people dressed in gorilla suits.

Included in the list was the world’s fastest airplane, the SR-71 Blackbird, which could travel from Los Angeles to New York in an hour and a half, as demonstrated by this map:

Wow. All this time, I thought Los Angeles was in the United States. Little did I know that it’s actually in Mexico.

For the love of God, please get this strike settled before I throw something at my TV.

Last night, Fox 5 News asked their viewers a question with a pretty obvious answer: “do you think the Giants can beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl?”

What do you think they’re going to say? There are a heck of a lot more Giants fans than Patriots fans watching a New York television station. That’s like asking a New Yorker if they think New York is the center of the universe.

Regardless, New York sports fans always find a way to rewrite history… even recent history:

Funny, I would think the way to show that a team can beat the Patriots is by beating the Patriots, which no team has done this year.

Then, to give the benefit of the doubt, you might consider that the Giants showed they could beat the Patriots by keeping it close in their regular season game, which they lost 38-35. But what about the Eagles and Ravens, who also led the Patriots in the 4th quarter only to lose by 3 points? Nope. Apparently, in New York, those teams don’t count. 

Then again, to be fair, Giants fans would never acknowledge the accomplishments of the Philadelphia Eagles - even if they were the team to beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl.

DEATHS COME IN THREES - Heath Ledger has been found dead of an apparent drug overdose. Jack Twist didn’t know how to quit him, but he didn’t know how to quit drugs. Too soon? Too soon? (Answer: yes. First-class ticket, non-stop to Hell.) First Brad Renfro, now Heath Ledger… who’s next? Place your bets in the comments. If you’re right, well, that’ll just be creepy.