Archive for the ‘Life at Work’ Category
Thursday, September 13th, 2007
I hate getting all judgey-pants, but I almost feel obligated to say something when someone runs 20 feet to catch an open elevator in my building, and then has to catch her breath once she gets into it - while she's holding a greasy bag from Wendy's.
I hate getting all ...
Posted in Life at Work | 6 Comments »
Monday, August 6th, 2007
There's a serious double-standard going on in my office, and I need to address it.
You see, my particular part of my industry is very much dominated by women. And then, in order of priority, gay men. And then, finally, straight men.
I've got nothing against teh gayz. But for the past ...
Posted in Life at Work | 9 Comments »
Tuesday, July 17th, 2007
Your caller ID comes up as "Incoming/801." That means you've blocked caller ID. Every time you call, you listen to my outgoing voicemail, which lasts a good 15 seconds, and then hang up, leaving me with a voicemail that simply contains a very audible "click." This has occurred on a ...
Posted in Life at Work | 3 Comments »
Thursday, July 12th, 2007
Intern 1: I don't know what I'm doing for lunch. Do you think, like, Japanese food is cheaper than sushi?
Intern 2: Aren't they the same?
Intern 1: I don't know. I figured they cost about the same, but I'm not sure.
Intern 2: No, I mean, sushi is Japanese.
Intern 1: Huh? It is? What ...
Posted in Life at Work | 10 Comments »
Wednesday, July 11th, 2007
We just had our first fire drill in a few months here at the office. I don't mind these, but I'm baffled by the process. The alarm sounds, and we are told to report to the elevator lobby on our floor.
There are easily 150 people working on my floor. They ...
Posted in Life at Work | 10 Comments »
Monday, July 2nd, 2007
Multiple-Choice Question: Which of the following publications was not on the floor of a men's restroom stall in my office this afternoon?
The answer... c.
And yes, I actually read about bird migration while sitting on the can this afternoon. I shit you not.
Pardon the pun.
Posted in Life at Work | 1 Comment »
Thursday, June 14th, 2007
I get a lot of free stuff at work. Here's where most of it ends up.
1. Small Scale-Model of Shea Stadium
Intended Use: Marveling at the wonders of 1960s-era stadium architecture, expressing your loyalty to the New York Mets
Current Use:
Storage for my stress ball
2. 12" Ruler
Intended Use: Measuring things, drawing straight lines
Current ...
Posted in Life at Work | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, June 6th, 2007
To: All Employees
From: The Management
Re: Summer Interns
In the past week, you may have noticed that there are dozens of fresh faces roaming the hallways of our building. These quasi-employees are eager to learn/observe/sit on the internet all day for school credit, and they're occupying every available nook and cranny of our office. While ...
Posted in Life at Work | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, May 30th, 2007
Why did you have to hold the doors? The elevator is full, and you're fat. You cannot fit. This isn't the chopper off the embassy roof - there's clearly another elevator coming.
Ugh. It’s so hot in here. I can’t even move. And someone is playing "Fergalicious" on their iPod.
2nd floor. Someone wants ...
Posted in Life at Work | 5 Comments »
Thursday, May 10th, 2007
I wouldn't say that the restroom at my office smells bad. I would say it smells like your average college dorm bathroom on any given weekday evening: a little musty, maybe. There might be the lingering smell of a dropped deuce from a few minutes before, but it's nothing out of ...
Posted in Life at Work | 2 Comments »
