We’re Canning You, But Let’s Not Call It “Canning”
Another ad agency - thankfully, not one I work at - accidentally sent an e-mail to its entire staff about its looming layoffs. In it, the company said they were “right-sizing,” and that the moves were “in the best interest of the clients” and that they were “building for the future” (by shrinking?).
The real zinger was the message they would send to clients when an employee was laid off:
Mary Smith will be moving off your business. Now that we understand your business better, we are replacing her with someone whom we feel will be a better partner for you.
Wow, Mary Smith must have been a horrible employee. Good thing they found someone better! She’ll never work in this town again!
I’ve been very lucky to have never been laid off. But if I ever am, this is the last way I want to be laid off.
I’m not talking about finding out through a leaked e-mail. I’m talking about being laid off through the veil of bullshit that a company spews to its employees when they’re in dire straits. It’s not a “right-sizing.” It’s not “in the best interest of the clients.” The bottom line is: their company is broke and can’t afford to pay its employees anymore. Why can’t they just say that? It’s a slap in the face to say anything different. Buzzwords don’t make the laid off employees or the remaining employees feel better about their situation; they just make them more skeptical of the company.
It’s almost as if they pulled this approach right out of the Office Space playbook. Any office drone has probably seen that movie by now. It’s been almost ten years since it was released, but HR people still haven’t figured out that everyone is on to them.
This entry was posted on Thursday, September 4th, 2008 at 11:04 am and is filed under Life at Work. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:36 am
ruby says:I worked at that company not more than a year and a half ago. Thank GOD I got out before the ship REALLY went down. I have to say, it’s shocking that something like that could happen, but then again, I’m not all that surprised.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
janine says:You need to read “And then we came to the end” - a book about people getting laid off from an advertising company. Surprisingly, a good read.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Sarah says:It’s not even necessarily brokeness. It’s ‘we can squeeze even more dollars out of the business when we outsource half your work to people in India who are just glad to be able to afford TVs and dump the other half on your already overworked colleagues.’
September 5th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
lozo says:Who the hell wants to work at a place called Carat anyway?
September 8th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Ha Ha Sound says:My advice: if you get laid off, consult your employee handbook veeeeery thoroughly. A friend of mine is most likely getting a low six-figure settlement because he was laid off in a way that technically went against the union rules in the field that he’s in.
September 9th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Clay Atlas says:I got laid off by Baskin Robbins about a year ago, but I guess I kind of deserved it. I was eating more ice cream than I was scooping. Don’t worry though, I lost the weight.
September 12th, 2008 at 10:52 am
The Litigator says:They are just asking to be sued for defamation by the employees they are claiming are incapable of properly handling accounts.