March Radness 2008: The City Hall Region
A lot has gone on in New York politics in this past year, and a lot of what happened was just mind-numbingly stupid. So, in the City Hall Region, we pay tribute to the political scandals, issues, and disasters that have plagued New York this year.
I don’t think these matchups really require a write-up, so here’s a haiku about each of them.
Eliot Spitzer
Governor or John?
How about both? He’d fuck New
Yorkers either way.
Rudy Guiliani
It’s a crying shame
He dropped out. Not! Next up: The
Nation’s Vice Mayor.
Second Avenue Subway
It crawls its way down-
Town. We wait. This haiku is
Existentialist.
Congestion Pricing
If you have a car
In New York, you can afford
Eight bucks, so shut up.
Pigeon Extermination
Kill those sky rats now!
Perhaps these are New York’s Next
Haute cuisine?
City Parking Placards
Who wants free parking?
An idea: park your lazy
Ass on the subway.
David Paterson
Welcome! Bring respect…
Oh? You did what? Well, at least
You’re not banging whores.
“Kristen”
Your fame was fleeting,
But at least you affirmed that
Spitzer has good taste.
Vote away. Round 2 starts tomorrow.
This entry was posted on Thursday, April 3rd, 2008 at 2:41 pm and is filed under March Radness. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
April 3rd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Ha Ha Sound says:Since David Paterson is blind, how will he be able to read the results of this to know whether he won or not?
Sorry, I guess that’s just mean of me.
April 3rd, 2008 at 10:58 pm
surplusj says:You know you’ve left the UES for Inwood when: You vote for congestion pricing over your beloved 2nd Ave Subway. That hurt.
April 4th, 2008 at 9:16 am
Tara says:Pigeon is already the new haute cuisine, it’s called Squab. You know, those little single serving chicken things.