east village idiot

intelligent and unintelligible thoughts about life in these five boroughs

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Unsent Letters from My Morning Commute

Dear Two Girls In Front Of Me Who Stopped Directly In Front Of The Turnstiles To Dig Through Their Giant Bags To Find Their Metrocards,

Thanks to you both, I missed my train. I realize that you probably don’t know each other, but let me take the time to introduce you. Idiot #1, this is Idiot #2. Idiot #2, this is Idiot #1. Hey, I have a great gift idea for your birthdays: an easily-accessible place for your Metrocards!

Love,
Chris

Dear Hipster Who Kicked Me In The Kneecap While Climbing The Subway Stairs,

Climbing the stairs is not a difficult process. Yet somehow, you find a way to wildly flail your legs backwards with each step. Maybe if you didn’t wear skin-tight jeans, you could keep your legs in check.

Love,
Chris

Dear Fellow Subway Passenger Who Ignored The Three Announcements Warning That Our N Train Was Bypassing 49th Street And Then Muttered The Word “Fuck” Under His Breath As He Watched Our Train Pass 49th Street,

Ha Ha.

Love,
Chris

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 6th, 2008 at 9:37 am and is filed under Subway Stupidity. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

8 Responses to “Unsent Letters from My Morning Commute”

  1. March 6th, 2008 at 11:24 am

    Chris says:

    making fun of others is also my favorite way to feel better about myself.

    good stuff.

  2. March 6th, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    God says:

    Dear Chris,

    The world was not designed for your convenience.

    Love,
    God

  3. March 6th, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    Chris says:

    Can I just tell you that this post could have been written by me, verbatim. I think we even get on the train at the same stop (14th and 1st?). That’s weird, because we have the same name, too.

  4. March 6th, 2008 at 3:21 pm

    AmyT says:

    dude. this made me laugh out loud this morning. i couldn’t have said it better and i feel your pain. i commute on the 4/5 train every morning and it is hell.

  5. March 6th, 2008 at 5:40 pm

    Gwin says:

    I also love it when people slow down on the stairs when they realize they don’t want the train that’s in the station. Too bad if you happen to be behind them and you DO want that train!

  6. March 6th, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    *Red says:

    I’m pretty sure I was behind the same 2 girls as well. Or maybe the EV is just full of the same kind of idiot girls.

  7. March 7th, 2008 at 9:05 am

    ExposedNYC says:

    Even better than the girls on the way in, I love the people on their way out who stop in all of the turnstiles, essentially creating a barricade for anyone actually under the time constraint of catching the train in front of them. Subway riders can be so considerate…

  8. March 10th, 2008 at 10:50 am

    Sheryl says:

    Being new(ish) to your blog, I only hope this is a recurring installment.

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