Back of the Line, Buddy
An open letter to Bank of America:
In a time when it seems like every single bank in the world is throwing branches on every single corner of New York, where the hell are you?
Look, I was thrilled when you opened your new branch in Union Square. It’s still a good six-block walk from my apartment, but it’s a whole two blocks closer than before. On that six block walk from Union Square to my apartment, I pass three different Chase ATM locations. But I don’t want to bank with Chase. I want to bank with you.
You may say, “well, we’ve done market research, and we can’t justify a new branch location.”
Will this picture of me standing in a ten-minute-long line for an open ATM at Union Square help justify it?
This is not an anomaly. This is not the first time it’s been like this. In fact, I have never seen it not like this. Every single time I want to use my own bank’s ATMs, I have to stand in line for ten minutes. What the hell, guys?
Look, I am a New Yorker. I’m used to waiting in line. But I’m also impatient, and waiting for an ATM is where I draw the line. I thought Automatic Tellers were supposed to be faster than regular tellers. While this isn’t a knock on you, Bank of America, it is a knock on your idiot customers who seem unable to navigate the menu of your ATMs. Perhaps you can give them ATM lessons. Right now, I feel like the only man in the world to discover and use your ”fast cash” feature.
But please, for the love of God, show some love to the northern half of the East Village. Or at the very least, open some more ATMs. And don’t tell me you don’t have the money, Bank of America. You charge other bank’s customers $3 to use your ATMs. That money has to go somewhere.
Signed,
A Loyal Customer
This entry was posted on Thursday, February 14th, 2008 at 9:59 am and is filed under Life in NYC. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
February 14th, 2008 at 10:41 am
keith says:“Look, I am a New Yorker. I’m used to waiting in line.”
i beg to differ. if you were a new yorker, you’d be used to waiting ON line.
just sayin’ …
February 14th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Jonny says:You’re Not at true New Yorker. Your a Boston transplant douchebag cornball who thinks he belongs in this city but obviously can’t hack it.
February 14th, 2008 at 11:41 am
Chris says:Jonny: Go fuck yourself.
There you go. Look! I can be a complete and total asshole just like you! Am I a New Yorker yet?
By the way, that’s some nice grammar and spelling there, douchebag.
February 14th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Paul says:What’s wrong with people? This little cold snap has got everyone bitchy beyond belief. I’d like to point out to Jonny (what happened to the h?), and others the purpose of this blog underneath the very striking photo of Chris. Has everyone lost their sense of humor? I think it’s the primaries…the primaries have got everyone’s knickers in a knot. to everyone to get a hold of themselves.
February 14th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Paul says:Ugh…there should be a “bitch slap” in there for everyone to get a hold of themselves.
February 14th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
StuyGirl says:I personally think you should take “you’re not a true New Yorker” as a total compliment. And may I add my best wishes that you never become one!
February 14th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
amish says:Why are you loyal to BOA? Why not bank with Chase?
February 14th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Chris says:amish: I’m loyal because I like their Keep the Change program, I’ve never had problems banking with them (knock on wood), they’re virtually nationwide, and honestly, it’s a huge pain in the ass to change banks.
February 14th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Jonny says:Paul, I get the idea of this blog, Chris is trying to be witty… By the way Chris, more people in NYC bank with Chase or “Chemical” as real NY’ers know it, that’s why there’s more branches. A true New Yorker would realize Chase has a certain “history” with the banking clientle of the city. BOA has in recent years started to make themselves known in NY.
February 14th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
michelle says:i never post comments on blogs but jonny is such a loser i had to say something. Is he now the authority on who and what is New York. This is why even after 8 years of living here i refuse to define myself a “new yorker”…I would shoot myself in the face if i was associated with someone like jonny.
February 14th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Jonny says:Michelle, deifne “loser” please?
February 14th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Jonny says:sorry, define…. for all of you spell check people out there.
February 14th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
michelle says:you spend your time reading people’s blogs which obviously don’t entertain you and then comment, name call, and try to impress everyone with how new york you are. No one cares…no one is impressed
February 14th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Gwin says:Who cares if Chase/Chemical is what so-called “real New Yorkers” use? They blow! I cancelled my account with them in 1995 and never looked back.
February 14th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Jonny says:Thank you all for conducting in my experiment and the helpful feedback. Continue on Chris…
February 14th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Chris says:Jonny: A true New Yorker would realize Chase has a certain “history” with the banking clientle of the city.
Oh, in that case, I guess I am a true New Yorker! Not only did I know that, but I also worked for Chase in my first gig in New York five years ago. But thanks for that history lesson.
By the way, BofA only made themselves known in “recent years” because they merged with Fleet, who became a New York mainstay after they bought Norstar in 1987. I was a former Fleet customer, and that’s why I bank with BofA.
You need any more history on New York financial institutions? I have plenty to share!
February 14th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Brooklyn Bitch says:Wait? 6 WHOLE blocks?
Wow.
You must be tired after that LONG ASS walk.
My sympathies.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
grammar police says:…is it me, or is ‘conducting’ not the appropriate word for that sentence?
February 14th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Chris says:Brooklyn Bitch: Avenue blocks.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
James says:You’re Not at true New Yorker. Your a Boston transplant douchebag cornball who thinks he belongs in this city but obviously can’t hack it.
By Jonny on Feb 14, 2008
I bet “Jonny” is more than likely a Long Island or New Jersey transplant that earned his “New Yorker” status by spending weekends at the Tunnel and Sound Factory. It would explain why he is so quick to judge.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
brookLyn gaL says:grammar police- I had the same thought. I didn’t conduct anything!
Does anyone else think that “some asshole” from the debacle the other day has a new IP address and name?
February 14th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Jonny says:Grammar Police: I used the word “conducting” on purpose as posters earlier noted my poor grammar. It had beens a joking that obviously that went above over your heads.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Brooklyn Bitch says:I am familiar with the landscape.
Perhaps you’re spending too much time in the steam room at the gym and not enough time on the treadmill.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Chris says:Brooklyn Bitch: Jesus Christ, get a hold of yourself. I said that in that six-block walk, I pass three Chases. I said nothing about it being too long a walk. I have legs, you know.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
grammar police says:Poor grammar and a horrible sense of humor…shame.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Jonny says:Chris: Ah, the great Fleet bank. You should know something about them since they were Boston based. So Norstar introduced Fleet/BOA to NYC banking scene, is that what you say? The fact is, Norstar was an upstate NY bank with zero visibility and NO branches in NYC/Tri-State area. Great research though…. please, school me some more Captain Wikipedia.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Brooklyn Bitch says:Alright, alright.
I concede.
I had NO IDEA you had legs.
I’m just sayin’…it could be worse.
You could be a Citibank member, like me.
Now that, my friend, blows *major* chunks.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
keith says:didn’t mean to start so much shit. i was just trying to be vaguely amusing and, apparently, unleashed a torrent of douchebaggery.
sorry.
February 14th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Jimmy says:I am astounded that someone is actually complaining about the fact that there are not enough banks in NYC. There’s a FREAKING BANK ON EVERY CORNER. Any cool store you like will close and become a bank, or a starbucks. Mark my words, the words of Jimmy.
February 14th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
Chris says:Jonny: Actually, Fleet wasn’t Boston-based; it was based in Rhode Island at that time. Norstar was gaining visibility in New York when it was acquired by Fleet. Fleet’s acquisition of Norstar gave them the resources to expand into the New York market, which made them a competitive player and led to the myriad of bank mergers among New York banks (Manufacturers Hanover, Chemical, etc.) in the 1990s and… WHY THE FUCK AM I DEBATING RETAIL BANKING ON MY FUCKING BLOG?!?
February 14th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Jonny says:Why, because it’s fun!
February 14th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Jonny says:Chris, why did you not approve that one posting I sent. Did you realize that most of your readers would get a chuckle from the humor there? Did I hit a nerve? (You know what post I’m talking about. Shame on you.
February 14th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Todd says:When it got cold outside, a mouse stuck into our apartment. It seems you have an infestation of douche bag commenters as well.
You should do to your infestation what I did to the mouse: Whack them in the head with a broom handle, then toss them outside so they can freeze to death.
February 14th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
ryan says:(shaking my head in disbelief, losing faith in the human race)
February 14th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Jonny says:Todd: I’m confused, so where did you find the mouse, was it “stuck” to your stove or “stuck” on your broom handle?
February 14th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
*Red says:I to have to make that long walk to the same B of A. I know how much it sucks. Of course there is the ATM right down the street from me that charges $1.75 per transaction, but it is one of those scary just “on the street” ones.
February 14th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
eric the beehivehairdresser says:I wish James Brown were still alive, only he would be able to bring all sides together and forge peace here…
February 14th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Jimmy says:FYI - The banner ads on this page are a bank.
February 14th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Chris says:Jonny: That post went into my spam filter because you put two links in it. And it’s the first amusing thing you’ve said in this entire dialogue. Damn shame.
February 14th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Jonny says:Here, I’ll post again then….
Chris: You should just join Ponce De Leon Bank
-”www.poncedeleonbank.com”- they have a great branch up in Spanish Harlem with ATM machines and no waiting lines. You could move there and just rename this blog East Harlem Idiot. I believe the name is still available and ready for purchase, think about it.
-”www.eastharlemidiot.com”-
Sounds Great!
February 14th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Rob says:if anyone is interested here is the complete history of Shawmut Bank. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shawmut
Everyone should know Chris is way more canadian then new yorker
February 14th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Val says:wow chris, over 40 comments!! wohoo. is that a record?
February 14th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Chris says:Val: 40? That’s not even a record for this week!
February 14th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Ha Ha Sound says:What the East Village needs is not more banks, it’s more drunken bridge and tunnelers on Avenue A during the weekends. Seriously. OK, not seriously.
February 14th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
ALH says:All of the branches that SHOULD be in New York are opening in Chicago. I’m willing to send them your way if it means I can get Filter back in Wicker Park and you FedEx me a plain slice? ;-P
February 14th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Tyler says:I’ve lived in New York for 5 years and I’ve met exactly 1 person that grew up in Manhattan. As for the rest of the 5 boroughs, I figure about 1 in 10 of the people you would meet in your day-to-day is “local.” If Bridge and Tunnel counts as “real new yorker” than I’m the queen of England.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Val says:damn, i’m not keeping up!
February 18th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
nical09 says:I’m new here (lucky me!) and I think it’s really funny to have a conversation about who’s a “real” New Yorker. I was born and raised in Queens (oops, Bridge and Tunnel), yet lived in another state for 18 years. I always have and always will consider myself a New Yorker from New York City. I have friends who have lived in this city (Manhattan or otherwise) for 20 years. Are they “real” New Yorkers? Of course they are.
It is, truly, a state of mind.
Regardless of where you do your banking.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:02 am
lynne says:I know this doesn’t really solve the ATM problem, but if you ever do consider switching banks check out Commerce Bank. They refund me all my ATM fees (yes, from any and every ATM I use). Therefore…dun dun dun…ATM locations are no longer an issue. They used to require a certain minimum balance to qualify for the ATM refunds, but I believe they give them to everyone now. You’re right though, it definitely is a huge pain in the ass to switch banks.