east village idiot

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Miserable and Loving It

Forbes just put out a list of the 10 most miserable cities in the country. Guess who’s #4? New York City! Let’s take a look at our company:

10. Providence, RI: I grew up here. I had a pretty miserable childhood. So there you go.

9. Charlotte, NC: Highlights of Charlotte: sitting in a rocking chair at the airport, and… uh… yeah, that’s about it.

8. Modesto, CA: Home of Gary Condit and Scott Peterson. Yeah, that would make me proud to call Modesto home.

7. Los Angeles, CA: The good news: you live four blocks from the ocean! The bad news: you’ll spend an hour sitting in traffic trying to get to it!

6. Chicago, IL: How can they be so miserable? They’ve got Chicago Dogs and Deep Dish Pizza! And da Cubs! Da Bears! Da Bulls! Oh, right.

5. Philadelphia, PA: Killadelphia isn’t as miserable as New York? I don’t know about you, but the constant thought of getting gunned down on the street while eating an artery-clogging cheesesteak would make me pretty damn miserable.

4. New York, NY: I keep wondering why Forbes chose our fair city as #4. All I can think is that someone at Forbes has been reading my blog too much. I’m not miserable! I just complain a lot!

3. Flint, MI: Fun fact! Did you know that the two least-common words in Flint are ”now hiring?”

2. Stockton, CA: According to Wikipedia, the four events of historical significance in Stockton are the completion of the port and deepwater channel, Charles Manson family members living in Stockton, the 1989 Cleveland Elementary School shooting, and the closure of Stockton’s naval reserve center.

1. Detroit, MI: This is the space where I would make a joke, but somehow, it just doesn’t feel right. Making fun of Detroit would be like beating up a cripple.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 12th, 2008 at 10:40 am and is filed under News. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

13 Responses to “Miserable and Loving It”

  1. February 12th, 2008 at 10:56 am

    Clinton says:

    Speaking as a native Texan, I can only assume that the exclusion of Houston from that list is due to some sort of clerical error on Forbes’ part. That place is a wasteland of sorrow if ever there was one.

  2. February 12th, 2008 at 11:04 am

    Rob says:

    Gary Condit. I was trying to think of his name a few days ago. That’s bullshit that this guy got off the hook because of a terrorist attack.

  3. February 12th, 2008 at 11:27 am

    Ha Ha Sound says:

    I’m surprised that Philadelphia isn’t at the top of that list. As well as the entire state of Georgia.

  4. February 12th, 2008 at 11:35 am

    beej says:

    So we have the murder rate going for us in Philadelphia… but otherwise… it’s not so bad.

    I would have put Camden, NJ ahead of Philly. You only go to Camden for concerts, and to get shot.

  5. February 12th, 2008 at 11:44 am

    Ben K. says:

    How can they be so miserable? They’ve got Chicago Dogs and Deep Dish Pizza!

    They can be so miserable because they have that nasty deep dish pizza.

  6. February 12th, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    Meaghan says:

    re: description of Los Angeles

    are you plagerizing my life story?

  7. February 12th, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    Caitlyn says:

    Beej, you gotta add drugs to that list. I once took a winter class on Crime Scene Investigations in Camden, and the professor just laughed when we heard shots ring out down the block. Not so safe.

    But Philly is awesome, don’t knock it.

  8. February 12th, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    Val says:

    I just dont understand why they mix small cities (Flint - 126K pop) with bigger cities…such as NYC. I just dont see how the thousands of little cities in Texas aren’t as miserable as NYC. The list doesn’t make sense…

  9. February 12th, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    beej says:

    Oh I could point out many many small towns around Kansas, Missouri, and Oklahoma that should be on this list if they decided to include them

  10. February 13th, 2008 at 9:38 am

    Mike says:

    NYC is only miserable for those who can’t afford it. Not many miserable people left in Manhattan. When the real estate market bottoms out there will be
    many happy people moving back to NY. Like me!

  11. February 15th, 2008 at 10:36 pm

    Bri says:

    Dang, didn’t realize Chicago was so miserable. I grew up there, and I was pretty darn happy…

  12. February 19th, 2008 at 10:59 am

    Michael Leggett says:

    The L 14th Street-Canarsie Line was their criteria, ESPECIALLY after reading your version of it.

  13. October 14th, 2008 at 2:23 pm

    Nicole says:

    Haha I live in Flint. That comment was pretty salty “now-hiring”, but humorous none the less. You watch your little asses though because a lot of us feel Flint’s coming back. Insanely cheap housing (people are GIVING houses away, literally..fo’ free), a new medical school at Kettering University, and dormatories at UofM Flint…Now how do we get a nuke for the crack infested neighborhoods…?

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