east village idiot

intelligent and unintelligible thoughts about life in these five boroughs

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While You Were Out

I’m back after a brief holiday respite. Here’s a rundown of what happened to me during the holiday and/or Chinese-food-eating, depending on your religion:

  • I was barely breathing (apologies to Duncan Sheik). I mentioned a couple months ago that my parents got a dog. I’m allergic to dogs. Not only could I not breathe through my nose, but I could barely breathe through my mouth by Christmas Day.
  • My fantasy football team got slaughtered in my league’s championship game (thanks for nothing, Adrian Peterson). I still came out ahead money-wise, and it was my best showing in six years of fantasy football.
  • I went to Barnes & Noble, where I was told that they were “all out” of I Am America (And So Can You!).
  • I went to Borders, where they had the same book in no less than three different floor displays.
  • I got a bad case of road rage by having to deal with the country’s worst drivers for five days.
  • I got prepped for tailgating at the Giants-Patriots game this weekend by packing a grill, camping stove, comfy chairs, and a beer pong table.
  • I kicked myself for learning that I could probably sell my Giants-Patriots tickets on eBay for $1500 each.

Now, back to work for the most pointless week of the year. Nobody is around, and nothing gets done. Sounds like a great excuse to come in late and leave early!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 26th, 2007 at 3:53 pm and is filed under Odds and Ends. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “While You Were Out”

  1. December 26th, 2007 at 9:22 pm

    BNY says:

    The agencies are open this week? I thought you all were off? Bummer.

  2. December 27th, 2007 at 6:10 am

    Darkman says:

    I also found Colbert there after finding none in Target or Wmart, which is what we have here. In Target I was told “you won’t get that here, he’s a leftie”.

  3. December 27th, 2007 at 12:25 pm

    Todd says:

    This morning I went straight from the airport to work. Lame.

    You’ve got to listen to the Audio version too. Read it first though, it’s hysterical.

  4. December 27th, 2007 at 1:25 pm

    Meaghan says:

    Look dearie, since I have expierienced the “Chris Driving Experience” I can say without a shadow of a doubt that you should count yourself among the rhode island drivers who are the worst in the nation. Congrats.

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