east village idiot

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If You Missed This Week’s Star Magazine, You’re a Better Person For It

starmag.JPGI finally found a reason to dislike Julia Allison other than for the simple fact that she’s a publicity whore. If we, as a nation, have stooped so low as to care about the stuff in the magazine she edits, I think humanity is doomed. Look at the “news” from this week’s issue of Star Magazine:

GENE CHARGES HIS STARBUCKS!

Gene Simmons makes a bundle with his rock band KISS, but on Nov. 17, he had to charge his $2.90 morning coffee at Starbucks inside the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino in Las Vegas! “When the cashier asked for payment, Gene pulled out an American Express Platinum Card,” an eyewitness tells Star. “You could see he didn’t have any money in his wallet, just old receipts, some credit cards, and a California driver’s license. It’s not what you’d expect from a big star like Gene. Worst of all, he didn’t leave a tip!”

Oh, the horror! Guess what? This morning, I charged my $2.90 coffee from Starbucks, too! But I’m not a celebrity, and apparently, celebrities are required to carry cash around wherever they go - even at places that accept credit cards.

Oh! And he didn’t leave a tip! Well, how could he tip when he didn’t have any cash on him? God dammit, he’s Gene Simmons, not David Copperfield! He can’t make loose change appear out of thin air! Also, I bet their “eyewitness” ALWAYS tips those hard-working and totally deserving Starbucks employees.

For crying out loud, leave these people alone. I’d like to see celebrities gang up and go around criticizing how us normal people live our lives. Maybe then, we’d stop and think about how ridiculous it is that we actually care about this shit.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 6th, 2007 at 3:30 pm and is filed under General stupidity. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

5 Responses to “If You Missed This Week’s Star Magazine, You’re a Better Person For It”

  1. December 6th, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    first ave reader says:

    “For crying out loud, leave these people alone. I’d like to see celebrities gang up and go around criticizing how us normal people live our lives. Maybe then, we’d stop and think about how ridiculous it is that we actually care about this shit.”

    agreed, for the most part. still, this is Gene Simmons we’re talking about.

    http://erim.net/misc/GeneSimmons_TerryGross.mp3

  2. December 6th, 2007 at 6:33 pm

    rottweilertom.blogspot.com says:

    Listen you stupid Barista Bitch, stop poking your nose into someone else’s bidness…and you’re lucky you weren’t waiting on me….

    Here’s a tip. Mind you’re own fucking business and just give me some coffee

  3. December 6th, 2007 at 11:58 pm

    Ben K. says:

    I charge my 89¢ can of chicken broth at the supermarket. Someone should write that up and send it to a tabloid.

  4. December 7th, 2007 at 11:57 am

    Ryan says:

    Starbucks employees aleady receive health benefits, and now they want to be tipped, also?

    Hot water burn barista.

  5. December 7th, 2007 at 3:54 pm

    Tyler says:

    alright, look. I think tipping at Starbucks is kind of absurd. I mean, you don’t get the nickname Fourbucks just because it’s clever. These employees are well taken care of, and are “serving coffee, not a meal. I don’t mind leaving some spare change in the tip container (I’m sure most people don’t) but when I paid for MY coffee with a credit card today, it asked how much to fill in for gratuity (like a restaurant receipt). I put $0.00 and initially felt a little bad about it. Then I recalled that “it’s fucking starbucks”.

    If you don’t tip your deli guy in the morning for a bacon-egg-cheese sandwich, why would you tip someone for pouring coffee into a cup and adding a lid.

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