east village idiot

The same guy stands on the corner outside my office nearly every day. He’s an older man, a bit overweight, fairly short, and somewhat unclean. “Unclean” might not be the best word to use to describe him - honestly, his entire job is unclean. He spends his entire day handing out small business cards on the street promoting his employer’s business. Perhaps he’s spreading the word about their all-you-can-eat buffet, or their fine beer selection, or the music they play. Or, just maybe, he’s a smut-peddler. After all, he is a Strip Club Street Hawker.

You’re on your feet for the entire day wearing a smock with the name of your business. Just about every pedestrian avoids you like the plague. Flocks of tourists avoid you on the basis of the name of your business alone. After all, a business with a name containing the following words or phrases does not exactly scream “family-friendly:” fantasy, cabaret, lace, flash, gentlemen, private, dancers, private dancers, all-nude, topless, or Larry Flynt. 

Locals avoid you because they know of your strip club and its seediness. Those who actually enjoy strip clubs know to avoid your particular establishment. Even the horniest of businessmen step out of your way, out of fear that they might be strung along to a strip club where your best girls would barely cut it at a strip club in the middle of a cornfield in Iowa.

To top it all off, while your employer is allowing nude women to dance on the premises, you’re working off-site. That’s pure torture. Then again, when you do have to punch out at the end of the day, you’re treated to quite the show. Do they at least feed you lunch from their all-you-can-eat seafood buffet? Do they pay you in lap dances? Is there an employee discount? Do you get to go backstage?

Maybe your job isn’t so bad after all. But, then again, when it comes right down to it, you work for a strip club - and a bad one, at that - so… your job must suck.

This entry was posted on Friday, October 12th, 2007 at 11:08 am and is filed under Your Job Must Suck. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.