Bar Guide for Dummies
September 27, 2007 – 8:25 am
I picked up this “bar guide” on a night out a couple weeks ago. It’s not a very helpful “guide,” since according to its list, there are exactly three bars in the East Village - all of whom most likely paid big money for their listings.
It should come as no surprise, based on the photographs on the cover of this guide, that the great majority of the bars on the list are in Midtown or Murray Hill.
Of course, this means that those bars will be frequented by the gullible douchebags, gullible tourists, and gullible douchebag tourists. So really, this is more of a guide to bars that you should keep away from. Unless you enjoy a stuffy, cramped bar where ex-fratboys will put their hands on your shoulder all night to say “’scuse me, bro” so they can go stalk their new slutty prey across the room.
My favorite game to play while looking at the cover of this guide is “HOW MANY PEOPLE PICTURED HERE HAVE AN STD?” I don’t even want to venture a guess.
Then again, they say that sex sells, and I would guess that putting a bunch of drunk dirty whores on the cover of your bar guide will help get the douchebags in the door.
2 Responses
Let me guess… The Village Pour House, Bar None and Libation?
By Ben on Sep 27, 2007
Yeah, from this cover it appears to be a guide for bars featuring Amstel Lights, white wine spritzers, and chocolately and/or fruity drinks mistakenly called some sort of “martini” (”saketini”, “flirtini”, etc.)
Also these bars probaly do speed-dating events.
By mumbles on Sep 27, 2007