east village idiot

Dental Damn

July 27, 2007 – 12:50 pm

Some strange magazines end up in my company’s bathroom stalls. But when I went in yesterday and the only reading material available was a copy of the Dental Tribune (The World’s Dental Newspaper!) on the floor, I went for it. Among the advertisers, I found these three gems.

Flavored Latex Exam Gloves

Kids today have it way too easy. When I was a kid, I had to suffer through the gross, chemical-laced, rubbery taste of my dentist’s gloves when he messed around with my mouth. And just my mouth, okay? He wasn’t one of those creepy dentists.

Crayola-Branded Fluoride Paste

You know, because the first thing I think about when I think of my flouride treatments are CRAYONS! Especially when the crayons are going to be applied to my teeth! How colorful!

Dental Exam Preparation Videos on a Pre-Loaded 20GB Video iPod

This really takes the cake (a sugar-free cake, of course). One of the testmonials in the ad completely blew my mind:

“I just had the opportunity to use the gIDEPod yesterday. A flight I was on was delayed for 5 hours in Phoenix. The time just flew by!”

Yep. There’s nothing more fun than watching videos of oral surgery for 5 hours. You have to wonder if dentists are inhaling their nitrous oxide on the side.