east village idiot

intelligent and unintelligible thoughts about life in these five boroughs

« Friday Funnies: This Song Will Torture You All Weekend
Ugg-h »

Three Hours on LIRR

lirr.jpgI’ve been to hell and back. I spent three full hours of my Sunday on Long Island Railroad in an overcrowded, under-air-conditioned train heading back from Montauk. I’ve never been happier to get home after a vacation.

  • Why, Long Island Railroad, does the Montauk station - a station that’s used year-round and was pretty crowded with passengers yesterday - seem like the only station in the entire system without a ticket vending machine? It just defies logic. The only thing less logical is the fact that Montauk station actually has a station house - but tickets aren’t sold there, either.
  • Why, parents, must you keep your children occupied for a 3-hour train ride by playing a movie on a portable DVD player - WITHOUT HEADPHONES? Just because you’re white and loaded with money doesn’t make you any different from the guy who blasts a boombox on the train.
  • Why, fellow passengers, are you not aware of the VIBRATE MODE on your cell phone? If it rings once, I’ll let it slide, but when the SAME GODDAMN RINGTONE goes off seven times when I’m trying to take a nap to pass the time, I’m pretty much on the verge of chucking my bag at you.
  • Why, LIRR conductor, must you torture me and every other passenger by saying, “enjoy your weekend… or what’s left of it” at the end of the ride on a Sunday night? It’s Sunday night. There IS no weekend left. And we’ve been out on the beach all weekend and didn’t want to come home. Thanks for the reminder, jerk.

I’m back. And I really didn’t want to come home. And now it’s pouring rain to boot. What a great welcome back to New York.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 23rd, 2007 at 9:42 am and is filed under On the Road. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

7 Responses to “Three Hours on LIRR”

  1. July 23rd, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    says:

    and did you like the sign outside the building that should obviously be the train station that says, “This is not the train station” ?
    Visiting Montauk is like traveling back in time - all old school, all the time.
    And it’s still raining. ugh.

  2. July 23rd, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    says:

    why does the lirr recorded voice make all the stations sound like garbled mumbled odd names?

    oh, wait… they are garbled mumbled odd names.

    never mind.

  3. July 23rd, 2007 at 9:07 pm

    says:

    Glad you had fun out in Montauk. And yeah, this rain totally sucks.

  4. July 23rd, 2007 at 9:10 pm

    says:

    last time i was in long island i got food poisoning. that was fun too.

  5. July 23rd, 2007 at 10:38 pm

    says:

    the LIRR is my nemesis.

  6. July 24th, 2007 at 10:22 am

    says:

    Was that ringtone playing “Chocolate Rain”? That would certainly have made the trip a lot funnier…

  7. July 24th, 2007 at 5:33 pm

    says:

    OMG we have the same mind. This post is totally in line with my Monday rantings about Sunday train madness! Check it out http://www.missmodelbehavior.com/2007/07/agitated-from-inside-amtrak-train.html

    PS Have been meaning to check out your site forever and am really enjoying it!

Leave a Reply