My Coolest Friend
I have a friend. She’s a little expensive to keep as a friend. She’s not particularly needy, but she spends a little too much time at the pharmacies, possibly flirting with other guys. On the outside, she seems a little stiff. But on the inside, she’s cool as a cucumber.
She also has a freaky streak. She’s always in my pants. She’s really, really good in my pants. I love it when she’s in my pants. And I never want her out of my pants. On the subway, at the gym, out for a run in the park, even at work… and especially on a day like today. When it’s 92 degrees, hot, and sticky outside, I want my friend to throw a party in my pants all day long.
Meet my good friend… Gold Bond.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 26th, 2007 at 12:08 pm and is filed under Life in NYC. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
June 26th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
says:TMI my friend.
T.
M.
I.
June 26th, 2007 at 1:06 pm
says:Like a thousand little elves tickling away. today is definetly an extra strength goldbond day.
June 26th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
says:can someone explain exactly what this stuff does?
June 26th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
says:extra strength, huh?
June 26th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
says:I’m with e. What does this stuff do, anyway?
June 26th, 2007 at 2:10 pm
says:Jesus, you don’t know about baby powdering downstairs? Somebody clue in these freakin’ no-names.
June 26th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
says:e and cherry, you gotta powder down there when it’s this ungodly uncomfortable outside if you want that “fresh all day feeling”. gold bond is where it’s at!
June 26th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
says:Christ. You and my brother should get together and have lunch. He waxes poetic about this shit as well.
June 26th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
says:Amen, Chris. Amen.
June 26th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
says:Even better is plain old corn starch. It’s like powdered silk. There’s nothing finer.
June 26th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
says:when I read the title, I thought, “Hey, Chris finally decided to write about me!” I continued to think that until “She’s always in my pants.” That’s when the dream died.
June 26th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
says:Doesn’t Gold Bond burn your balls?
June 26th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
says:Is it still $8.99?
June 26th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
says:You have to build a tolerance. I suggest not jumping right into the extra strength. Once you get used to it, it’s glorious
June 26th, 2007 at 9:11 pm
says:Does that stuff work in boxers too?
June 26th, 2007 at 10:22 pm
says:Todd - I speak from experience. Absolutely. Even in boxers: the more, the better.
June 26th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
says:In that case, I got’s to get me some Gold Bond!
June 27th, 2007 at 10:50 am
says:so that’s why my guy roommate keeps large containers of that in our bathroom…life is making so much more sense now…
June 27th, 2007 at 11:45 am
says:And you shall henceforth be known as PowderNuts.
July 3rd, 2007 at 1:36 pm
says:This is the kind of friend you want to introduce to everybody around you.