east village idiot

intelligent and unintelligible thoughts about life in these five boroughs

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5 Things Currently in My Cubicle That Are Not Serving Their Intended Use

I get a lot of free stuff at work. Here’s where most of it ends up. 

1. Small Scale-Model of Shea Stadium
Intended Use: Marveling at the wonders of 1960s-era stadium architecture, expressing your loyalty to the New York Mets
Current Use:

desk1.jpg

Storage for my stress ball

2. 12″ Ruler
Intended Use: Measuring things, drawing straight lines
Current Use: 

desk2.jpg

Substitute for human finger

3. Making the Most of Your Money by Jane Bryant Quinn
Intended Use: Informative reading material that will make you a more financially-stable individual - completely revised and updated for the twenty-first century!
Current Use:

desk3.jpg

1,066-page footrest

4. Coffee Mug
Intended Use: Holding large quantities of a liquid that will stain my teeth
Current Use:

desk4.jpg

Holding items that will keep aforementioned liquid from staining my teeth

5. Wal-Mart Tractor Trailer Pez Dispenser
Intended Use: Candy storage
Current Use:

desk5.jpg

Constant reminder that I have exhausted my supply of Pez and cannot purchase it in New York City at everyday low discount prices

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 14th, 2007 at 9:19 am and is filed under Life at Work. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

5 Responses to “5 Things Currently in My Cubicle That Are Not Serving Their Intended Use”

  1. June 14th, 2007 at 9:45 am

    says:

    Your cube looks nice & homey.

    Mine has a banana that has only about 30 more minutes of life left, a “millions more movement 10th anniversary commemoration of the million man march” bumper sticker hanging, and two phone books proping up my monitor.

  2. June 14th, 2007 at 9:57 am

    says:

    Is that some kind of scented candle in front of your Nalgene and next to the coffee mug? It looks like a cup covered in slime.

  3. June 14th, 2007 at 2:09 pm

    says:

    I think I’m a little more excited by the Bill Simmons book in the back there. That had better be serving its correct purpose.

  4. June 14th, 2007 at 4:43 pm

    says:

    I think I’m a little more excited by the Bill Simmons book in the back there. That had better be serving its correct purpose.

    Toilet paper?

  5. June 15th, 2007 at 2:00 pm

    says:

    Can I have the mini-Shea?

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