east village idiot

intelligent and unintelligible thoughts about life in these five boroughs

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There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute

There are plenty of ridiculous products out there on store shelves. Here are some products that any sucker can get his hands on in New York:

A $55 Bottle of Wine

winebottles.jpg

Yes, I know it’s a major faux pas to bring a bottle of Three-Buck Chuck from Trader Joe’s to a dinner party, but when a vintner says that no bottle of wine is really worth more than $10, and nearly 1 in every 10 bottles of wine purchased in California is bought for $1.99, you’d have a hard time impressing me with your $55 chardonnay.

Freaky Dutch Furniture

tripptrapp.jpg

They’re selling a high chair called the “Tripp Trapp?” That’s brilliant, because I would really trust putting my child in something with a name that evokes the image of a wooden contraption collapsing upwards on itself on a dime to catch its young prey.

Prissy Men’s Grooming Stores

straightrazor.jpg

Shave and a haircut: two bits? Never in New York, of course. Why stop there? How about selling a straight razor for $250? I barely trust my barber with one of those things, but now you’re suggesting that I can do it myself - for the low, low price of a years’ worth of barber shop visits! I’m totally sold on this.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 30th, 2007 at 12:16 am and is filed under General stupidity. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “There’s a Sucker Born Every Minute”

  1. May 30th, 2007 at 3:00 pm

    says:

    I didn’t know you have a child.

  2. May 30th, 2007 at 3:03 pm

    says:

    There’s a lot that my readers don’t know about me. For example, did you know that I founded the American Red Cross in 1881?

    Oh, wait, no, that wasn’t me.

  3. May 30th, 2007 at 5:05 pm

    says:

    the hell with the freaky furniture….did you look at those kids? they are the kind you come across and have to say, “wow…umm…that’s some great furniture you bought for little bronx.”

  4. June 5th, 2007 at 7:26 am

    says:

    The cheap wine always goes down easy… But I’m more likely to have sex with you if it’s a $50 bottle. ESPECIALLY if you sound like you know what you’re talking about when you explain why you bought it. Ahh, fuck it, just lie. Tell me it was $50. I’ll never know the difference.

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