New York: City of Peeves #49
The Security Nazi
Habitat: Office building lobbies
Description: Unfazed by common sense, the Security Nazi will make every office worker’s life a living hell. Despite the fact that he recognizes faces and knows names of up to 85% of the building’s employees, he is a stickler for the rules: you must show your ID. You must carry it with you at all times. You must call a co-worker down from upstairs, as a visitor, if you do not have your ID. You must report all visitors in advance. You must sign in visitors. The rules for security in your nine-story office building are approximately the length of the U.S. Tax Code.
Quite often, the Security Nazi is one of several security personnel in a building. The other members of the security staff are cool. You greet them by name. You talk with them about how the Yankees did the night before. If you don’t have your ID, they’ll “let it slide this time.” After all, they see you every day. It’s not like you’re going to torch the office the day you show up without your ID.
But if the Security Nazi is at the desk, all bets are off. He will make you feel like the scum of the earth because you simply forgot to take your ID out of the pocket of the pants you slid out of drunk at 1am the night before. Shame on you! You, after all, are just a lowly office worker - and he is the leader of the Third Reich of Office Building Security.
Rating on the Peevery Scale:
This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 8th, 2007 at 1:36 pm and is filed under City of Peeves. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
May 8th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
says:New to your blog - I laughed out loud - which is NOT an easy thing to do.
So, thanks!
I also added you to my blog list. If you like mine, please feel free to add me to your blogroll.
Until next time -
Caren
a.k.a. “Ms. Mix and Bitch”
May 9th, 2007 at 1:04 am
says:These “city of peeves” posts are easily the highlight of my rss feeds/day
May 9th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
says:Seriously.
The security guard here at NBC says hi to me BY NAME. BY NAME! And absolutely will not let me through when I forget my badge. As you can probably imagine, I forget my badge 3 out of 5 workdays per week.
The WORST part is, because I am a “Page” and obviously inferior to every single other person on the lot, I am not allowed to park in NBC Employee Parking. This became especially frustrating to me when I realized that, on any given day, about 100-150 parking spots are completely empty.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
May 10th, 2007 at 8:09 am
says:[…] 2) Contemptster HQ literally has the biggest hard-ass security guards in the city. Even if you’ve worked in the building for, say, five years (has it been that long? Fuck.) you’d better swipe that ID of yours. They recognize me, if they don’t they’re the dumbest security guards on the planet, but they don’t care if my hands are full of hot coffee, bagels, dry cleaning, and everything else my boss sends me out for. Expect no sympathy from what the East Village Idiot calls, “The Security Nazi”. […]
August 24th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
New York Yankees says:Wow, the Yankees are still a dynasty. They just need to reload.