Steal This Idea: A Molded Beer Cup
Men like their beer. But every now and then, having to use the can comes between a man and his beer.
When you’re at a sporting event, you don’t want to leave your drink by its lonesome. Your beer could get lonely! I mean, it’s not like most men worry about someone dropping a roofie into their beer while they’re gone, but a bathroom line at an event that is attended by about four times more men than women can get long and boring. That’s why a lot of men will bring their beer with them to the bathroom: they have to find something to do while waiting in a ten-minute line between periods at a 15,000-seat hockey arena.
But then what? You get to the urinal, and you have nowhere to put your drink. Instead, your beer ends up under your arm, or perched precariously on a urinal, much like this:
So, I have a suggestion: nearly every urinal is equipped with the same nut on the top of the flusher (as demonstrated above). I propose that beer cups at stadiums should be molded to fit snugly over the nut on top of a urinal. That way, the beer won’t budge, and no man will have to suffer the embarassing fate of having to save their falling beer while taking a whiz, leading to splashage, spillage, and perhaps even some angry, urine-soaked neighbors. Your beer is safe and sound while you pee, and ready to drink while you return to your seat!
You’re welcome.
And yes, I realize that the more obvious solution would be to install cup holders above all the urinals, but I was just trying to “think outside the box.”
This entry was posted on Thursday, April 19th, 2007 at 10:27 am and is filed under Food and Booze, Sports. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
April 19th, 2007 at 10:49 am
says:Hahahahahahaha, I can’t even imagine the looks of people’s faces as they watched you take that picture.
April 19th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
says:i’m wondering about the people who tried to get in the picture.
April 19th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
says:How many LPF’s is that urinal packing?
April 19th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
says:I think your idea would certainly make you millions of dollars and I would steal it if I had any ambition. However, I also think you should be ashamed of yourself. Pining for cup holders on/near a urinal? That’s something a woman would do if they had urinals. Balancing one’s cup of beer on that nut or valve (or whatever it’s called) is the final step in the climb from adolescence to manhood . . . particularly after knocking back four or five stadium beers. I am still filled with immense pride every time I accomplish the feat. I think turning it into a cup holder would break the back of this country and make us all into sissies.
Also, you only need one hand to unzip your fly, produce your hog and piss. If you’re uncomfortable with balancing the beverage, just hold the fucker.
April 19th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
says:Time to learn from skills already available methinks……women in India balance loads on their heads.
I can picture a line of blokes with pint’s balanced on their heads all having a piss…..I’d caution against the sabotage tickle from a “mate”…..that’s just not fair.
April 19th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
says:[…] Steal This Idea: A Molded Beer Cup Men like their beer. But every now and then, having to use the can comes between a man and his beer. When you’re […] […]
April 19th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
says:One could just replace the barstools with toilets, or just move the bar, kegs, bartenders, etc. into the john.
April 20th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
says:hahaha, this is a brilliant idea.