east village idiot

It’s Day 2 of Round 2 of March Radness on eastvillageidiot.com.

Click here for the latest updated bracket. Yesterday, another #1 seed was upset, as Billyburg Hipsters were soundly defeated by Ikea in Red Hook, 62-38. The Hipsters will go home and wallow in self-pity while listening to obscure indie rock. In another upset, #5 seed McCarren Pool dropped their match to The L Train, 64-36. While Develop Don’t Destroy Brooklyn topped Atlantic Yards in the first round, they were no match for The F Train, who will move on to the Sweet 16 with their 81-19 win. Finally, Park Slope Moms edged East Williamsburg, 60-40.

More trash talking is bound to go on today with some of the more fashionable matchups in the tournament. So, today, let’s move on to the Wintour Region.

Game #1: (1) Meatpacking District vs. (8) Gawker Stalker

Gawker Stalker: Mary-Kate Olsen getting out of a black truck on Valentine’s Day and walking into SoHo House in the Meatpacking District with an average-looking over-30 male. Wearing way too much makeup and gave me a dirty look as she crossed my path into the building.
Meatpacking District: Yeah, she hangs out with me.
Gawker Stalker: Vanessa Redgrave and Natasha Richarson were having breakfast as Pastis. They would look like identical twins if it were not for Vanessa’s grey hair. Both beautiful.
Meatpacking District: Most people have no idea who they are. But I do, because I’m cool, and “most people” aren’t.
Gawker Stalker: Elisha Cuthbert was waiting for a table at Pastis with two friends. Very small, easily a Girl Next Door.
Meatpacking District: Eh, she’s all right. She seems to like me more than I like her.
Gawker Stalker: You’re a douche.

Round 2, Game 1 - Wintour Region: Voting Over!
-> (1) Meatpacking District 50
-> (8) Gawker Stalker 50 (in overtime)

Game #2: (5) Anderson Cooper vs. (4) Moving to Brooklyn

Anderson Cooper: Hello, and welcome to Anderson Cooper 360.
Moving to Brooklyn: Your name is in the title? That’s pretty pompous. See, I’m Brooklyn. I’m hip. I keep things low-key. I fly under the radar.
Anderson Cooper: Well, some of your critics have been charging that you’ve been getting unfair attention lately because of just a handful of celebrities’ actions.
Moving to Brooklyn: Really? Oh. Well… that’s kind of disappointing. I would have thought they would be proud of me for finally making it big.
Anderson Cooper: In a statement yesterday, Staying in Manhattan said, “while a move to Brooklyn may be ideal for families who enjoy zombie-like trances while walking down sidewalks of residential neighborhoods, Manhattan remains the only place worth living in New York.”
Moving to Brooklyn: Wow. That’s really harsh. I’m hurt by that. I guess I would have to say that I hate Manhattan.
Anderson Cooper: Hmm. Interesting. And why do you think you feel that way?
Moving to Brooklyn: I… I… don’t know. Oh my God. You’ve got me cornered, in that crazy, sensitive journalist type of way.
Anderson Cooper: We’ll be right back. After the break, the one thing in your household that could potentially spell disaster for your children.

Round 2, Game 2 - Wintour Region: Voting Over!
-> (5) Anderson Cooper 50
-> (4) Moving to Brooklyn 50 (in overtime)

Game #3: (6) Lindsay Lohan’s Rehab Bill vs. (3) Mary-Kate Olsen’s Tootbrush

Rehab Bill: Wow! Like, look at all those big numbers! I must be, like, expensive!
Toothbrush: You’re a piece of paper. You can’t be expensive.
Rehab Bill: Yeah, but I bet I would go for a lot on eBay.
Toothbrush: So would I.
Rehab Bill: You smell like vomit.
Toothbrush: You smell like… like… like… paper!
Rehab Bill: Ooh, I’m, like, totally scared now.
Toothbrush: Don’t make me touch you.
Rehab Bill: Ew! Ew! Ew! Gross! Get away!

Round 2, Game 3 - Wintour Region: Voting Over!
-> (6) Lindsay Lohan’s Rehab Bill 60
-> (3) Mary-Kate’s Toothbrush 40

Game #4: (10) Hotel Gansevoort Billboard vs. (2) West Chelsea

Hotel Gansevoort Billboard: You’re going down, West Chelsea. You ain’t got nothing on my big-ass vinyl print!
West Chelsea: I know your kind. There are plenty over by the West Side Highway. You don’t scare me.
Hotel Gansevoort Billboard: Yeah? Well, my owner runs a classy hotel for the “in” crowd.
West Chelsea: Ooh, I’m shivering in my shoes now.
Hotel Gansevoort Billboard: Yeah, but it doesn’t smell like skank like you do.
West Chelsea: Hey!
Hotel Gansevoort Billboard: And it also doesn’t smell like New Jersey all the time.
West Chelsea: Whatever, you’re like 100 feet further from New Jersey than I am.

Round 2, Game 4 - Wintour Region: Voting Over!
-> (10) Hotel Gansevoort Billboard 28
-> (2) West Chelsea 72

This entry was posted on Monday, March 26th, 2007 at 10:17 am and is filed under March Radness. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.