Winter Hats: A Public Service Announcement
Ladies, we need to talk.
It’s winter time, and we know your heads are getting cold. And we know that you wear hats to keep it warm. But we need to talk about hat etiquette.
There are only certain hats that require hat etiquette. Mainly, any hat with a brim. In recent times, it has apparently become fashionable to wear a hat low over your brow. Well, there is one major problem with this approach to hat-wearing: YOU CAN’T SEE ANYTHING GOING ON AROUND YOU!
By wearing your hat practically over your eyes, you lose all of your peripheral vision. In fact, you lose just about all of your vision, aside from the one square foot of pavement that you’re walking on.
I have already been run into twice in the past two days by women who see nothing but my feet two feet in front of them. This morning, another hat-wearer crossing 14th Street to my right sideswiped me, as she drifted to the left in the crosswalk, apparently unable to see that tens of other people were crossing the street with her.
So, women of New York, go ahead and wear your hats. But be mindful of your fields of vision when you put on those hats. Together, we can stop this alarming trend, before we have hundreds of thousands of hat-wearing women blindly wandering our city’s sidewalks.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 21st, 2006 at 11:15 am and is filed under Life in NYC. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
November 21st, 2006 at 3:16 pm
says:the low field of vision is to make sure they don’t step in anything that will ruin their Ugg boots.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:04 pm
says:besides the hat wearers who can’t see, there is a whole breed of people who are drifters as they seemingly “walk” on the sidewalk. and i can’t stand them.
your new blog look is so nytimes!
November 21st, 2006 at 6:17 pm
says:right on ev - I’m not a sexist, but I do tend to think that women padestrians aren’t very aware, no matter what the cranial wear, whether or not they clip-clop in packs. I saw a girl bump into an old man and his coffee on Avenue A, causing him to burn himself. “ouch, f*ck medicaid! Give me my $2 so I can buy another cup o joe!”