east village idiot

I’ve never been a huge fan of the L Magazine, mainly because it’s named after the subway line that gives me daily panic attacks. But the information is fairly useful, and sometimes entertaining. In fact, I’m a huge fan of Fare is Fare and Tips for Tips, two of the more entertaining sporadically-published short-form fluffy features in free alternative news-periodicals.

If you’re looking for some recommendations on places to drink in The L (and who isn’t?), don’t even bother. Audrey Ference, you’re on my list. You write a page-long review twice a month that somehow finds a way to tell me absolutely nothing about the bars you’re reviewing. I always thought that a bar reviewer wrote about bars. And occasionally, I thought a bar reviewer even gave details of the bars she reviews! In the last few months, you’ve discussed how you’ve never been to Red Hook, how much you hate the heat, and how to dress like a non-tourist. These are great topics for a blog - but not for a person whose job is to provide editorial descriptions of drinking establishments.

Here is one example of Audrey’s brilliant summary of the two bars she reviewed last month:

How about Vegas? They’ve got a pool table, a decent jukebox, and enough sense to keep the door shut and the lights low. Or, if you’re a Manhattanite, maybe Ace Bar. Again, pool table, decent music, some darts and pinball. Whatever. Just go somewhere near your house, because only a crazy person would be walking around in this heat. The important thing to remember is that eventually August will end and you can be a human again. Until then, stay inside, stay hydrated, and stay a little tipsy. Like I even had to add that last part.

So, Vegas is dark and has a pool table and jukebox? And Ace Bar has the same, plus some darts and pinball? Those are some amazing observations! I’m totally convinced that I should go to both of these bars right away!

Thanks for nothing, Audrey. Next time you go to a bar, I’d recommend staying there for more than 30 seconds. I bet you could learn a lot about a bar that way! You might even discover that they serve this stuff called “beer” - there are thousands of different varieties!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 6th, 2006 at 11:12 am and is filed under Food and Booze, Life in NYC. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.